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Last week, OB-Wan gave me a chocolate version of the Defiant from Star Trek: DS9. I was immediately inspired to create Action Figure Theatre. I don't actually own any action figures, however, but I was determined not to let that stop me. Therefore, I present:
Star Trek Deep Space Nine: Just Desserts
[exterior shot of space]

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Ensign Nog: Uh, sir? That's the wrong intro.

Right...ahem. SPACE! THE FINAL FRONTIER!
Lt. Dax: Benjamin? Didn't Captain Picard have words with you about stealing his schtick?

Oh, fine. CAPTAIN'S LOG, Stardate 12345.67. My tiny ship and my huge crew and I are on a scouting mission, looking for safe harbours for supply ships refueling the front lines. The war with the Dominion has hit us all hard. Just last Tuesday, I found Chief O'Brien in Engineering crying over the fried out circuits of something he calls...
Col. Kira: Sir! I'm reading a planet on our scans!
Miles: Thank goodness.

Lt. Dax: I've seen a lot of planets in my 15 lives, and none of them have looked like that!
Ensign Nog: There's a gravity well on either end, sir. The distortions have caused the planet to elongate and...
Sisko: Whatever, ensign. Can we use this planet or what?
Col. Kira: Sir! I'm picking up a sudden tectonic shift! The entire planet is breaking in half.

Cmdr. Worf: CHANGELINGS!
Sisko: Red alert! Fire torpedoes.

Miles: Sir! We appear to have scored several direct hits, but they've returned fire!

Sisko: All hands BRACE FOR IMPACT!

Ensign Nog: Sir! SIR! We're venting plasma!
Miles: We're venting EVERYTHING.
Sisko: Doctor! Get up here. We need your help.
Dr. Bashir: I'm a doctor, not a pastry chef!
Lt. Dax: Benjamin, we have to abandon ship!
Sisko: All hands abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!
Miles: So much for the Federation Chocolate Line.
Col. Kira: We didn't make the escape pods out of chocolate too, did we?
...what will they try selling us next Easter?
Star Trek Deep Space Nine: Just Desserts
[exterior shot of space]
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Ensign Nog: Uh, sir? That's the wrong intro.
Right...ahem. SPACE! THE FINAL FRONTIER!
Lt. Dax: Benjamin? Didn't Captain Picard have words with you about stealing his schtick?
Oh, fine. CAPTAIN'S LOG, Stardate 12345.67. My tiny ship and my huge crew and I are on a scouting mission, looking for safe harbours for supply ships refueling the front lines. The war with the Dominion has hit us all hard. Just last Tuesday, I found Chief O'Brien in Engineering crying over the fried out circuits of something he calls...
Col. Kira: Sir! I'm reading a planet on our scans!
Miles: Thank goodness.
Lt. Dax: I've seen a lot of planets in my 15 lives, and none of them have looked like that!
Ensign Nog: There's a gravity well on either end, sir. The distortions have caused the planet to elongate and...
Sisko: Whatever, ensign. Can we use this planet or what?
Col. Kira: Sir! I'm picking up a sudden tectonic shift! The entire planet is breaking in half.
Cmdr. Worf: CHANGELINGS!
Sisko: Red alert! Fire torpedoes.
Miles: Sir! We appear to have scored several direct hits, but they've returned fire!
Sisko: All hands BRACE FOR IMPACT!
Ensign Nog: Sir! SIR! We're venting plasma!
Miles: We're venting EVERYTHING.
Sisko: Doctor! Get up here. We need your help.
Dr. Bashir: I'm a doctor, not a pastry chef!
Lt. Dax: Benjamin, we have to abandon ship!
Sisko: All hands abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!
Miles: So much for the Federation Chocolate Line.
Col. Kira: We didn't make the escape pods out of chocolate too, did we?
...what will they try selling us next Easter?