Fic: Paralysis (Sanctuary)
Jun. 3rd, 2011 08:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grav_ityAN: I’ve decided it’s cuddle!fic week. The more the merrier. ;)
Spoilers: Nary a one.
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: So not mine. Also, this is another missing scene for Six Things To Know About Dating James Watson, by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
penknife. The summary is a line from it directly. It probably takes place shortly after No Instruction Manuals.
Characters/Pairing: James Watson/Declan MacRae
Summary: Declan is patient and doesn't press the issue.
+++
Paralysis
Declan presses his forehead against the pillow, breathing hard and thoroughly replete. Behind him, James’s hand lingers on his shoulder, a softer touch now than the nearly desperate clench from the moment before. Any second though, he’ll get up and go to fetch his robe, and even if he does come back to bed instead of taking to the armchair by the fireplace, it will only be a matter of time before Declan retreats to his own room, unwilling to push for either invitation or dismissal.
He doesn’t mind, not really, because while he understood going into this that there would be some parts of his life that James would never let him see, he’s also witnessed the slow and steady breakdown of James’s barriers, and that’s enough, most nights, for him to sleep alone. Tonight, he’s just so damnably comfortable.
The bed creaks as James shifts, and Declan knows he’s sitting on the edge of the mattress. He could turn onto his back, and watch James stand, see the lines of tubing and way the bronze rings glint in the firelight as he ties the robe across his chest. But that would mean moving, and he’s trying to put that off for as long as possible. In his head, he begins to count towards the inevitable.
+++
James sits on the edge of the bed, fingers curled around the seam of the mattress through the sheets and feet bare against the floor. Declan hasn’t moved, but he will soon and for the first time James isn’t sure he wants that. He’s got so used to sleeping alone, sharing his bed with ghosts who understand his vulnerabilities all too well, but Declan doesn’t ask for explanations either, most of the time, and it’s getting harder to watch him dress himself and leave.
It annoys him, beyond measure, because Declan is neither pliant nor pushy, merely perfect, and James has no idea what to do with that, because no one in the world is supposed to be as good at reading him as he is at reading them.
It’s infuriating and frustrating and, somehow, pleasantly surprising, and James can’t help but want more of it, even though he thought he was long past that degree of trust. Declan made the first move, in his office all those months ago, and everything since then has been better than James imagined, but he can’t ignore that it’s his turn now. He takes a deep breath, and slides his hands across his knees.
+++
Declan gets to fifteen before he hears it, an odd hiss followed by the unmistakable hum of something electronic. It takes a few moments for him to understand what it is he’s hearing, and when he does, he stops counting. James is taking off the exoskeleton.
Now, Declan couldn’t move if he wanted to. He can’t leave, because this is what he’s been waiting for, and he can’t look, because that would be too much. Instead he holds his breath and tries not to fly apart.
He feels the bed shift again as James pushes himself back on the mattress and then turns so that his torso falls gracelessly back towards the pillows while his feet hang off the side like they’ve been weighted down with lead. It’s a few moments before James manages to well and truly settle himself, and Declan stays frozen, unsure for the first time since James first kissed him back what it is he’s meant to do. When James reaches for him, Declan lets himself be drawn in, pulling the blanket over both of them as he comes.
+++
It’s easier than he thought it would be, and he almost wonders what took him so long. Instead, he presses kisses into Declan’s hair, and falls asleep.
+++
finis
Notes: This story means a lot to me. Thank you for reading.
Gravity_Not_Included, June 3, 2011
Spoilers: Nary a one.
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: So not mine. Also, this is another missing scene for Six Things To Know About Dating James Watson, by
penknife. The summary is a line from it directly. It probably takes place shortly after No Instruction Manuals.Characters/Pairing: James Watson/Declan MacRae
Summary: Declan is patient and doesn't press the issue.
+++
Paralysis
Declan presses his forehead against the pillow, breathing hard and thoroughly replete. Behind him, James’s hand lingers on his shoulder, a softer touch now than the nearly desperate clench from the moment before. Any second though, he’ll get up and go to fetch his robe, and even if he does come back to bed instead of taking to the armchair by the fireplace, it will only be a matter of time before Declan retreats to his own room, unwilling to push for either invitation or dismissal.
He doesn’t mind, not really, because while he understood going into this that there would be some parts of his life that James would never let him see, he’s also witnessed the slow and steady breakdown of James’s barriers, and that’s enough, most nights, for him to sleep alone. Tonight, he’s just so damnably comfortable.
The bed creaks as James shifts, and Declan knows he’s sitting on the edge of the mattress. He could turn onto his back, and watch James stand, see the lines of tubing and way the bronze rings glint in the firelight as he ties the robe across his chest. But that would mean moving, and he’s trying to put that off for as long as possible. In his head, he begins to count towards the inevitable.
+++
James sits on the edge of the bed, fingers curled around the seam of the mattress through the sheets and feet bare against the floor. Declan hasn’t moved, but he will soon and for the first time James isn’t sure he wants that. He’s got so used to sleeping alone, sharing his bed with ghosts who understand his vulnerabilities all too well, but Declan doesn’t ask for explanations either, most of the time, and it’s getting harder to watch him dress himself and leave.
It annoys him, beyond measure, because Declan is neither pliant nor pushy, merely perfect, and James has no idea what to do with that, because no one in the world is supposed to be as good at reading him as he is at reading them.
It’s infuriating and frustrating and, somehow, pleasantly surprising, and James can’t help but want more of it, even though he thought he was long past that degree of trust. Declan made the first move, in his office all those months ago, and everything since then has been better than James imagined, but he can’t ignore that it’s his turn now. He takes a deep breath, and slides his hands across his knees.
+++
Declan gets to fifteen before he hears it, an odd hiss followed by the unmistakable hum of something electronic. It takes a few moments for him to understand what it is he’s hearing, and when he does, he stops counting. James is taking off the exoskeleton.
Now, Declan couldn’t move if he wanted to. He can’t leave, because this is what he’s been waiting for, and he can’t look, because that would be too much. Instead he holds his breath and tries not to fly apart.
He feels the bed shift again as James pushes himself back on the mattress and then turns so that his torso falls gracelessly back towards the pillows while his feet hang off the side like they’ve been weighted down with lead. It’s a few moments before James manages to well and truly settle himself, and Declan stays frozen, unsure for the first time since James first kissed him back what it is he’s meant to do. When James reaches for him, Declan lets himself be drawn in, pulling the blanket over both of them as he comes.
+++
It’s easier than he thought it would be, and he almost wonders what took him so long. Instead, he presses kisses into Declan’s hair, and falls asleep.
+++
finis
Notes: This story means a lot to me. Thank you for reading.
Gravity_Not_Included, June 3, 2011
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 03:34 am (UTC)Oh, James, how open and vulnerable you've become and I love you for it! Declan, while Grav certainly knows how to write you, you still leave me kind of "meh", but you're growing on me just because of the way you treated James - with dignity.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 05:17 am (UTC)Which is interesting, I think, because I now know for sure that I do most of my writing subconsciously. Which is handy, because I knew I do it when I "in the zone", but I was REALLY NOT "in the zone" when I wrote this.
So, uh, yes. Thank you for the review. You noticed all the things I didn't put in on purpose, but am still quite proud of. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 06:11 am (UTC)I probably have to make a contribution to cuddling week now.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:44 pm (UTC)Thank you! This one worried me for about 400 reasons, but worked out really well.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 02:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 06:38 am (UTC)Very poignant.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 06:50 am (UTC)Meep.
This fic pushes so many buttons. (In a good way!) I've been reading back through Artaxastra & DBalthasar's journals for Sanctuary entries, and was completely struck by the mythological connections that are made in several entries. The first thing I thought when I read the one piece talking about Helen being Persephone Decended and John Hades (and Nikola Dionysus) was that James is Hephaestus. Which works so very beautifully well here.
Thank you.
(And at some point I will stop feeling ridiculously behindhand and inadequate in the face of your & Penknife & Artaxastra & DBalthasar's excellence & post something more than a drabble. Or a poem.
I hear you on the words, though. I'm doing very well indeed if I can come up with 400 words in an hour, 100 is much more typical, and then there are the ones where I can hardly muster twenty.... That sense of flow & rightness is a beautiful thing.)
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:46 pm (UTC)I was worried about this one for so many different reasons, but I am really pleased with how it ended up. Thank you so much!
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 09:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:33 pm (UTC)Wonderful and achey and sweet.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:53 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 02:06 pm (UTC)Crap, thunder. So much for 40% of light showers...
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 03:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 08:13 pm (UTC)The choice, ultimatum, that James silently decides with himself.
The quiet assurance that Declan has that he'll have to leave.
The gentle acceptance that James realises he has for Declan and Declan has for him.
Beautifully emotional.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-04 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 02:27 pm (UTC)