Ask me a question about one of my stories or my approach to writing in general. It can be absolutely anything in any fic (or novel) and I will tell you the honest-to-god answer. Don’t hold back. Anything. Whatever you ask, I will try my best to answer.
Okay, so I'll be asking a question that's been on my mind for a long time. I love Venatus Debitum but I kinda really dislike Pondera Debitum because I really dislike the idea that Helen is acting in this. So I'm curious as to why you decided to write her side of things this way, what your motivation was? Understanding it may help me like this story of yours better (probably the only Sacntuary story of yours I dislike).
1. These were my first and third Sanctuary fics respectively, so I had a) very little personal canon and b) very little shared canon when I wrote them. I was kind of experimenting with everything.
2. I really, really suck at writing sex scenes, so both of these stories were HUGE departures for me, thematically speaking.
That said, I pretty much stand by both fics. And I shall tell you why. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. :)
What it comes down to is that I didn't want this fic to be about pity sex, for either of them, which meant I had to come up with a way for Nikola not to think it was pity sex, and with a way for Helen to also not think it was pity sex. Which was a bit harder than I thought it was going to be, originally.
What I ended up doing was making it part of Their Game, the game they always play, where he flirts and flirts and flirts and she pretends she doesn't notice. Which is why Nikola can't just say "Hi, I need to have sex", because if he did, it would be the game, and it would be for pity. It's also why Helen can't say yes if he does ask. Which is why he never asks, exactly, and why she never says yes.
I also happen to believe that Helen does not love Nikola, at least not in any traditional sort of way (let alone a way that is easily explainable). This has never prevented them from having sex before, but it was always on her terms, and it's possible that she was taking advantage of him. And these are very definitely HIS terms, so the usual rules can't apply.
Nikola is at absolute rock bottom. Beyond rock bottom, if that's even possible. And what he needs is what he's needed, what he's wanted, the whole time: Helen to love him. And she doesn't, quite, but she is really, really fond of him, so not only is she willing to pretend, she's willing to make him think she's NOT pretending, just this once, because it's what he needs.
(Also, what he needs is not the sex. He needs the part at the end, where he cries. The whole fic is basically a misdirect, though I allude to it at the beginning in both of them.)
So yes, Helen is acting a little bit, and on some level, Nikola knows that. But he's given allowance for it, and it will never, ever be mentioned again (like he never, ever mentions the part where she cried when he undid her hair in penknife's "Understanding"). And it's is probably the crowning moment of their friendship, in terms of Helen doing something for him anyway, which is horrible and twisted, but also: totally them.
What I was hoping the reader would take away from it was that there were about a million things going on in the background of this story. It was never, ever about the sex. That's just how I got people to read it. :)
ETA: Also, I've gone back and read my original comments to both fic, and realized that I forgot to mention the very important fact that Helen is acting, but NIKOLA is acting too. This is very, very much about him pretending he believes her so that she can give him what he needs. Layer and layer and layer again. :)
Oh excellent! A question whose answer will make me sound insane. ;)
(Aside: WONDERFUL ICON!)
I do not pick the POV. The POV picks me. The character in question will say the line in my head (this line typically becomes the summary and is usually the first or last line in the whole fic), and then the story will appear on my screen.
Sometimes I sit down with the POV and explain nicely that it's not big enough for a whole story. That's typically when I start playing around with italics in order to a) switch POV or b) switch time.
That's pretty much it for my method. It just...happens.
Honestly, though, I don't know. I've never had anyone review all "YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE" with this fic. I wish I'd been a better writer when I wrote Harceisis, but at the same time...I had to learn somewhere.
Let it be said of me that I have no regrets (except everything I wrote for CSI, apparently). ;)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 06:41 pm (UTC)1. These were my first and third Sanctuary fics respectively, so I had a) very little personal canon and b) very little shared canon when I wrote them. I was kind of experimenting with everything.
2. I really, really suck at writing sex scenes, so both of these stories were HUGE departures for me, thematically speaking.
That said, I pretty much stand by both fics. And I shall tell you why. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. :)
What it comes down to is that I didn't want this fic to be about pity sex, for either of them, which meant I had to come up with a way for Nikola not to think it was pity sex, and with a way for Helen to also not think it was pity sex. Which was a bit harder than I thought it was going to be, originally.
What I ended up doing was making it part of Their Game, the game they always play, where he flirts and flirts and flirts and she pretends she doesn't notice. Which is why Nikola can't just say "Hi, I need to have sex", because if he did, it would be the game, and it would be for pity. It's also why Helen can't say yes if he does ask. Which is why he never asks, exactly, and why she never says yes.
I also happen to believe that Helen does not love Nikola, at least not in any traditional sort of way (let alone a way that is easily explainable). This has never prevented them from having sex before, but it was always on her terms, and it's possible that she was taking advantage of him. And these are very definitely HIS terms, so the usual rules can't apply.
Nikola is at absolute rock bottom. Beyond rock bottom, if that's even possible. And what he needs is what he's needed, what he's wanted, the whole time: Helen to love him. And she doesn't, quite, but she is really, really fond of him, so not only is she willing to pretend, she's willing to make him think she's NOT pretending, just this once, because it's what he needs.
(Also, what he needs is not the sex. He needs the part at the end, where he cries. The whole fic is basically a misdirect, though I allude to it at the beginning in both of them.)
So yes, Helen is acting a little bit, and on some level, Nikola knows that. But he's given allowance for it, and it will never, ever be mentioned again (like he never, ever mentions the part where she cried when he undid her hair in
What I was hoping the reader would take away from it was that there were about a million things going on in the background of this story. It was never, ever about the sex. That's just how I got people to read it. :)
ETA: Also, I've gone back and read my original comments to both fic, and realized that I forgot to mention the very important fact that Helen is acting, but NIKOLA is acting too. This is very, very much about him pretending he believes her so that she can give him what he needs. Layer and layer and layer again. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-10 03:12 pm (UTC)(And 1 part "OMG I WROTE VAMPIRE FIC!).
no subject
Date: 2011-04-10 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-10 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 08:24 pm (UTC)(Aside: WONDERFUL ICON!)
I do not pick the POV. The POV picks me. The character in question will say the line in my head (this line typically becomes the summary and is usually the first or last line in the whole fic), and then the story will appear on my screen.
Sometimes I sit down with the POV and explain nicely that it's not big enough for a whole story. That's typically when I start playing around with italics in order to a) switch POV or b) switch time.
That's pretty much it for my method. It just...happens.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 08:30 pm (UTC)and yes, Kira is pretty.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 08:31 pm (UTC)Yes, that is totally Kira. I in no way looked at the icon and saw nothing but a phoenix...
no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-07 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 03:10 am (UTC)What published fic do you most regret / do you most headdesk about? :-D
no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 03:13 am (UTC)Well all my early stuff, obviously. ;)
Honestly, though, I don't know. I've never had anyone review all "YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE" with this fic. I wish I'd been a better writer when I wrote Harceisis, but at the same time...I had to learn somewhere.
Let it be said of me that I have no regrets (except everything I wrote for CSI, apparently). ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 04:19 am (UTC)