![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grav_ityAN: I kind of don’t like John. Except I really do. Except I really don’t. It’s complicated. So is this fic.
Spoilers: For King and Country, also it’s a bit dark.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sanctuary. I do own a Sanctuarwii. Oh, and the title is a line from “Mr Brightside” by The Killers because originally this fic was something else entirely.
Character: John Druitt
Summary: Adam’s flat is cold from unuse, even though the weather outside turned to summer while they hunted him. John doesn’t stay long, in any case. He never does.
+++
Turning Saints Into The Sea
Adam’s flat is cold from unuse, even though the weather outside turned to summer while they hunted him. John doesn’t stay long, in any case. He never does.
+++
He tells himself that he stays away for her protection. It’s a lie, like all the others he’s told over the years. He stays away because he knows she’ll kill him if she gets the chance. And for some reason he hasn’t figured out yet, he wants to live.
+++
He haunts the battlefields of France, never really in danger himself but when there’s that much death around him, life is easier. He can appreciate the carnage in a way that makes him sick. It’s very nearly professional jealousy. His is a far more personal kind of monstrosity.
+++
Skirts get shorter, but some things don’t change.
+++
He never did opiates when he was at Oxford. Was never even tempted, no matter what James said about the properties of cocaine. If he was still allowed to feel like a romantic fool, he’d say that with her he’d never needed them. He needs them now.
+++
Something is very wrong with him. When he nearly died before (oh, how he wishes he’d died before), her blood had saved him, made him stronger than ever. That’s when the killing began. It takes him a long time to make the connection, because she is the last good thing he was holding on to.
+++
The only one he goes to see is Nigel. He’d have gone to Tesla, if the vampire was really dying, but it’s the worst kept secretly faked death in the world, and John has no time for games. He offers Nigel peace, and somehow finds the strength to leave when refused.
+++
Girls get smarter, and mace stings like a bitch, but there’s nothing they can do once he touches them.
+++
Asia welcomes him with open arms, and many of them, now that the world is small enough that a white man no longer sticks out of the crowd quite so badly. When he’s on the drugs, it’s like half of him is sleeping. He starts to wonder what it’s like to be awake.
+++
By the time he’s come around to hating her, it’s too late.
+++
He’s in Paris, which was a bad idea, when he first hears whispers of Ashley Magnus. He teleports to Nha Trang and does his best to let the ocean wash away his suspicions.
+++
He is dying, of the old malady newly resurfaced in his old age. For the most part, he is glad. But the part of him that wants to linger over every kill, that wishes it could wallow in blood, that part is not ready to die. He forces restraint.
+++
He loses control.
+++
She hasn’t changed at all, which terrifies him because she didn’t shoot quickly enough last time, and she doesn’t this time either. When she concedes, he suppresses the thought that it was too easy. If she can deal death, he will take it, and gladly.
+++
When he feels death in his veins, he gives over to the monster and lets it carry him away. The blackness is settling in when Tesla finds him, and John is brought back to the world screaming for not having left it.
+++
Irony is a real bastard.
+++
Tesla has pushed down, and the last time John tried that the darkness emerged all the more powerful for its confinement. But his daughter is dead, and he does want vengeance. It will be only a few, a few small deaths very much deserved. That much he can manage.
+++
When he wakes up on the operating table, he can sense her close by. He’s so light, he thinks he might fly.
+++
He takes it back without a moment’s hesitation, thinking it will be easier the second time, knowing that it’s not some of his own personal darkness brought forth by the Source Blood and augmented with her own, that’s it an actual monster who might actually be defeated. This time he will be stronger, better able to fight.
+++
He is wrong.
+++
fin
AN: Thoughts about John Druitt, I have them.
Gravity_Not_Included, January 20, 2011
Spoilers: For King and Country, also it’s a bit dark.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sanctuary. I do own a Sanctuarwii. Oh, and the title is a line from “Mr Brightside” by The Killers because originally this fic was something else entirely.
Character: John Druitt
Summary: Adam’s flat is cold from unuse, even though the weather outside turned to summer while they hunted him. John doesn’t stay long, in any case. He never does.
+++
Turning Saints Into The Sea
Adam’s flat is cold from unuse, even though the weather outside turned to summer while they hunted him. John doesn’t stay long, in any case. He never does.
+++
He tells himself that he stays away for her protection. It’s a lie, like all the others he’s told over the years. He stays away because he knows she’ll kill him if she gets the chance. And for some reason he hasn’t figured out yet, he wants to live.
+++
He haunts the battlefields of France, never really in danger himself but when there’s that much death around him, life is easier. He can appreciate the carnage in a way that makes him sick. It’s very nearly professional jealousy. His is a far more personal kind of monstrosity.
+++
Skirts get shorter, but some things don’t change.
+++
He never did opiates when he was at Oxford. Was never even tempted, no matter what James said about the properties of cocaine. If he was still allowed to feel like a romantic fool, he’d say that with her he’d never needed them. He needs them now.
+++
Something is very wrong with him. When he nearly died before (oh, how he wishes he’d died before), her blood had saved him, made him stronger than ever. That’s when the killing began. It takes him a long time to make the connection, because she is the last good thing he was holding on to.
+++
The only one he goes to see is Nigel. He’d have gone to Tesla, if the vampire was really dying, but it’s the worst kept secretly faked death in the world, and John has no time for games. He offers Nigel peace, and somehow finds the strength to leave when refused.
+++
Girls get smarter, and mace stings like a bitch, but there’s nothing they can do once he touches them.
+++
Asia welcomes him with open arms, and many of them, now that the world is small enough that a white man no longer sticks out of the crowd quite so badly. When he’s on the drugs, it’s like half of him is sleeping. He starts to wonder what it’s like to be awake.
+++
By the time he’s come around to hating her, it’s too late.
+++
He’s in Paris, which was a bad idea, when he first hears whispers of Ashley Magnus. He teleports to Nha Trang and does his best to let the ocean wash away his suspicions.
+++
He is dying, of the old malady newly resurfaced in his old age. For the most part, he is glad. But the part of him that wants to linger over every kill, that wishes it could wallow in blood, that part is not ready to die. He forces restraint.
+++
He loses control.
+++
She hasn’t changed at all, which terrifies him because she didn’t shoot quickly enough last time, and she doesn’t this time either. When she concedes, he suppresses the thought that it was too easy. If she can deal death, he will take it, and gladly.
+++
When he feels death in his veins, he gives over to the monster and lets it carry him away. The blackness is settling in when Tesla finds him, and John is brought back to the world screaming for not having left it.
+++
Irony is a real bastard.
+++
Tesla has pushed down, and the last time John tried that the darkness emerged all the more powerful for its confinement. But his daughter is dead, and he does want vengeance. It will be only a few, a few small deaths very much deserved. That much he can manage.
+++
When he wakes up on the operating table, he can sense her close by. He’s so light, he thinks he might fly.
+++
He takes it back without a moment’s hesitation, thinking it will be easier the second time, knowing that it’s not some of his own personal darkness brought forth by the Source Blood and augmented with her own, that’s it an actual monster who might actually be defeated. This time he will be stronger, better able to fight.
+++
He is wrong.
+++
fin
AN: Thoughts about John Druitt, I have them.
Gravity_Not_Included, January 20, 2011
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 04:59 pm (UTC)I am really glad that came across! ;) I thought about making the summary "A century of being neither here nor there", but decided it was just a shade too light for the rest of the story. I'm relived to know my theme came through anyway!
Thanks for the review!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 05:14 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-23 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 04:34 am (UTC)I do not have the time to squee over this properly, but I will come back tomorrow to gush further. (On this, and your John meta. Because they are both wonderful.)
no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 04:40 am (UTC)Thanks for the review! And I love the Dr. Horrible lyrics on your icon! I am all about fandom-crossing icons!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 06:14 pm (UTC)I just finished commenting on your John meta, and it got a little lengthy so I will try to control myself here. But I had to come back and marvel at how beautifully you've captured John in this fic in so few words. Each snippet is just another punch in the gut, emphasizing the darkness and the tragedy of his life.
It’s very nearly professional jealousy.
That line is just so creepy. But it is so very much The Ripper.
It takes him a long time to make the connection, because she is the last good thing he was holding on to.
This just breaks my heart. Because it's so true. And every time I wonder why he never seems to blame her for her part in what happened to him, I remember this. If he blames her he would be ruining that last good thing, and he can't do that.
And I love the Dr. Horrible lyrics on your icon! I am all about fandom-crossing icons!
Yes, it does fit ridiculously well, doesn't it? I'm a fan of fandom-crossing icons myself. *g*
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 06:39 pm (UTC)Thank you again for taking so much time to review this. I'm still relatively new to the fandom, and it means a lot.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 03:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 03:55 pm (UTC)... :)
Seriously, though, it was quite cathartic to really get into John (through this and the meta...and Whispers, to a lesser extent), and figure out why I like him even though sometimes he makes my skin crawl.
Thanks for reading!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-03 10:46 am (UTC)I love the structure of this fic. And great job getting into John's head. I haven't managed it yet myself.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-03 02:01 pm (UTC)I really thought this was going to be my only John ficlet, but then I wrote "The Monster and Mary Kelly" for my series (quite unintentionally, btw), and realized that, uh, I really am kind of good at it. Which is concerning, I think. ;)
Glad you liked!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-03 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-03 03:15 pm (UTC)Oh, Sanctuary! Where you can have all the characters you want, because there is history liek woah!