Commentary: Never Enough (SG-1)
Feb. 7th, 2011 03:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grav_ityAs requested by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cnidarian. You can find the fic itself at this link.
Boy does this take me back. Thank goodness I'm going through something of a fandom renaissance lately. :)
Some background! I wrote three "big" stories while I was in the SG-1 fandom, two of them simultaneously (more or less). While I was writing those longer stories, I wrote about a dozen shorter ones off of unrelated plot bunnies, most of which were designed to deepen my understanding of the characters. If this is starting to sound familiar, it's because I decided that it worked well with SG-1, so I am doing it again with Sanctuary. In any case, this story in particular was written to fill in some gaps while I was off writing "Blood Night", particularly the very last scene of that fic, but also to practice taking Sam and Jack (and Teal'c) out of the main action, and letting Daniel and Janet work through it themselves.
Other interesting things: I think this might have been my first (attempt at a) sex scene (which I say because it kind of, uh, failed). Also, it was the first time I cheated with italics, but in this case it was actually to make the story shorter. Finally, this is one of the only fics I've ever written (or read, if I'm being honest), where SG-1 ran away. Which, frankly, they probably should have done more often. But that would have been a boring show. And then since they don't usually run away, it makes it kind of worse when they do.
FIC BEGINS
“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, and he would not look at her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I should mention that I kind of sucked at this, back then. Not as badly as during the CSI days, thank goodness...but yeah. My intension were good. My ability to write grown-up male characters...not so much.
She sat up so she could reach him with both hands. He flinched slightly, but she pretended it was because he was somehow so cold and she still smoldered.
“It’s all right, Daniel.”
“No it’s not. It’s never all right. It’s never enough.”
And then she knew.
Because she's JANET FREAKING FRAISER, and even though I didn't quite love her yet, I still knew that.
“Daniel, what happened on that planet?”
He said nothing for a very long time. She didn’t try to touch him again, just watch his back as he struggled to breathe calmly, illuminated in the silver glow of the moon.
I think this was one of those fics which was, in my original notes, just them talking to one another. So when I wrote it, I had to go back through and actually add things like what the room looked like and the fact that it was dark. And I also had to physically determine where they'd be sitting/lying, and how they moved around each other. Which must have looked hilarious. Thank goodness I can do it in my head now.
“It was awful.” He said it so quietly she barely heard him. “It was awful and we could have stopped it. But they wouldn’t listen.”
“Tell me.”
He took a deep breath and clenched his fingers on the rumpled sheets. He didn’t turn around.
“They were humanoid. Peasants, really, no technology at all. Theocratic government.” His voice was completely flat. “But there’s naquadah on their planet, so even Jack was playing nice.”
Remember when naquadah was, like, the MOST IMPORTANT THING, EVAR? Yeah, neither do I. :)
He was starting to relax a bit, and she threaded her fingers through his, resting both their hands on his knee.
“When we arrived at the village, it was like walking into a Renaissance Fair. There were men talking and drinking, women with ribbons in their hair, even children, dancing to the music the minstrels were playing.” Daniel couldn’t help the smile that briefly crossed his face, nor the hard shadow that followed it. “We stuck out. Badly. But they weren’t afraid of us. They welcomed us and sat us at their tables in the village square and shared their food.”
Janet leaned her head against the back of Daniel’s shoulder, wishing she could see his face and knowing he didn’t want her to. He was shaking, and she could feel his heart beat.
“They were celebrating, they told us. A demon had stricken many of their people ill, including the high priest. But they had prayed to their god and he had cured them.
“Sam asked about the demons, and we could tell within about two seconds of their explanation that the demons were Goa’uld. A priest overheard our questions, and came over to where we sat.”
And this is where it jumped into flashback. Because I could have made it a huge story about the time Sam and Teal'c almost died on a planet that liked witchhunts, but instead I wanted it to be Daniel coping with the fallout of some poor woman's torture, because I needed him and Janet to sit and talk about their feelings because I was trying to figure them out. I like that moment in a fanfic, where you can go one way but go completely another instead because of what you, the writer, are trying to do. I used to do it without thinking about it, and now I do it on purpose, but the results are the same.
Short but sweet, I hope! ;) If you would like to request one of your own, I am still taking prompts here.
cnidarian. You can find the fic itself at this link.Boy does this take me back. Thank goodness I'm going through something of a fandom renaissance lately. :)
Some background! I wrote three "big" stories while I was in the SG-1 fandom, two of them simultaneously (more or less). While I was writing those longer stories, I wrote about a dozen shorter ones off of unrelated plot bunnies, most of which were designed to deepen my understanding of the characters. If this is starting to sound familiar, it's because I decided that it worked well with SG-1, so I am doing it again with Sanctuary. In any case, this story in particular was written to fill in some gaps while I was off writing "Blood Night", particularly the very last scene of that fic, but also to practice taking Sam and Jack (and Teal'c) out of the main action, and letting Daniel and Janet work through it themselves.
Other interesting things: I think this might have been my first (attempt at a) sex scene (which I say because it kind of, uh, failed). Also, it was the first time I cheated with italics, but in this case it was actually to make the story shorter. Finally, this is one of the only fics I've ever written (or read, if I'm being honest), where SG-1 ran away. Which, frankly, they probably should have done more often. But that would have been a boring show. And then since they don't usually run away, it makes it kind of worse when they do.
FIC BEGINS
“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, and he would not look at her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I should mention that I kind of sucked at this, back then. Not as badly as during the CSI days, thank goodness...but yeah. My intension were good. My ability to write grown-up male characters...not so much.
She sat up so she could reach him with both hands. He flinched slightly, but she pretended it was because he was somehow so cold and she still smoldered.
“It’s all right, Daniel.”
“No it’s not. It’s never all right. It’s never enough.”
And then she knew.
Because she's JANET FREAKING FRAISER, and even though I didn't quite love her yet, I still knew that.
“Daniel, what happened on that planet?”
He said nothing for a very long time. She didn’t try to touch him again, just watch his back as he struggled to breathe calmly, illuminated in the silver glow of the moon.
I think this was one of those fics which was, in my original notes, just them talking to one another. So when I wrote it, I had to go back through and actually add things like what the room looked like and the fact that it was dark. And I also had to physically determine where they'd be sitting/lying, and how they moved around each other. Which must have looked hilarious. Thank goodness I can do it in my head now.
“It was awful.” He said it so quietly she barely heard him. “It was awful and we could have stopped it. But they wouldn’t listen.”
“Tell me.”
He took a deep breath and clenched his fingers on the rumpled sheets. He didn’t turn around.
“They were humanoid. Peasants, really, no technology at all. Theocratic government.” His voice was completely flat. “But there’s naquadah on their planet, so even Jack was playing nice.”
Remember when naquadah was, like, the MOST IMPORTANT THING, EVAR? Yeah, neither do I. :)
He was starting to relax a bit, and she threaded her fingers through his, resting both their hands on his knee.
“When we arrived at the village, it was like walking into a Renaissance Fair. There were men talking and drinking, women with ribbons in their hair, even children, dancing to the music the minstrels were playing.” Daniel couldn’t help the smile that briefly crossed his face, nor the hard shadow that followed it. “We stuck out. Badly. But they weren’t afraid of us. They welcomed us and sat us at their tables in the village square and shared their food.”
Janet leaned her head against the back of Daniel’s shoulder, wishing she could see his face and knowing he didn’t want her to. He was shaking, and she could feel his heart beat.
“They were celebrating, they told us. A demon had stricken many of their people ill, including the high priest. But they had prayed to their god and he had cured them.
“Sam asked about the demons, and we could tell within about two seconds of their explanation that the demons were Goa’uld. A priest overheard our questions, and came over to where we sat.”
And this is where it jumped into flashback. Because I could have made it a huge story about the time Sam and Teal'c almost died on a planet that liked witchhunts, but instead I wanted it to be Daniel coping with the fallout of some poor woman's torture, because I needed him and Janet to sit and talk about their feelings because I was trying to figure them out. I like that moment in a fanfic, where you can go one way but go completely another instead because of what you, the writer, are trying to do. I used to do it without thinking about it, and now I do it on purpose, but the results are the same.
Short but sweet, I hope! ;) If you would like to request one of your own, I am still taking prompts here.
